Maternity: Returning To Work

Returning to work after Maternity

 

HA!

After?! We’ll just discount the copious amount of work done over the past 5 months for the purpose of this blog… And remember that maternity leave is a sacred thing between mother and baby and that returning to work after maternity leave is just the curse sorry sorry COURSE of life.

 

Seriously though, let’s look at this because I’ve been harsh as fuck on myself  for weeks trying to figure out what I was going to do with the Luna of the Bhuna.

Mum friends #Friends

I think mainly because my maternity hasn’t been much of a maternity. I haven’t done any classes or met any mum friends #CallMe I’m not clued up on the new lingo of what’s what with the feeding, the routines and the full line up on how you – single handedly as a woman are 110% damaging your new born child in whatever new way possible.

Although thanks to Spencer ( 2 ½ year old Step-Son) I do know every single episode to Paw Patrol.

But for some reason, some miracle. Luna Just like Paddy did 10 years ago, and Sophie 4 years before that – is managing fine.

Luna will be 5 months next Tuesday #I’llSeeYou and despite her sleeping 12/14 hours a night and weaning perfectly with a mix of trash pouches and baby porridge…

I can’t help but think she’s not ready?!

Baby is not ready?!

Ready for what? Going to granny’s and being cuddled, loved, entertained, stimulated… Properly developed?? Attend baby groups and be socialised?

Truth is, Luna hasn’t had as much attention as I wish I could have given her. I wish I had settled a routine of making sure the stories were told, the bath times were frequent and the playmat was for two.

Instead there has been a lot of juggling, a lot of frustration and a lot of making do. Which is ridiculous considering I am a proper full grown adult with savings, experience and of course a MASSIVE plan of how this was all going to work.

When I was 21 and I had Paddy, I was skint. I had no money and very little plans for the future and we spent every minute having the best 12 months maternity with only each other as the priority.

So instead of Luna not being ready, it’s clearly me.

Mum is not ready?!

As of tomorrow (July 31st 2018) Luna-Rose will be a permanent resident of The Pink House Nursery (her Granny Caroline’s house) on a Tuesday and shipping out with Dad and Granny Maggie with Spencer on a Wednesday.

My working from home #WFH is Monday 2pm – 9pm and Thursday 2pm – 9pm.

This means Chris will stop working from 2pm and take over the Luna care. I will take 1 hour out to make tea for the family and eat it with them. Why?! Because I’m a shit hot cook and also if you can’t have a sit down meal with your kids at least once a day, you’re doing it WRONG.

Fridays I am full on Luna duty.

The weekends alternate with the children at their ‘other’ parents…

It took me until 2 days before I started back at G&M  to figure this plan out. Why?!

It’s not complicated, it’s not financially straining it’s me. It’s because I’m completely inept when it comes to making a decision to hand over my children and/or personal responsibility.

I don’t want to be this way and I know if I was less like it I may have actually had more time with my daughter in the 5 months I was supposed to instead of fucking squandering it on other peoples say so.

Shall I dwell? will I punish you with the only way is now?

The only way is now? – Nah fuck off.

Nah fuck off.

I am grateful, I do feel appreciation. I know how much I am bless- Ed.

But we’re returning to work NOW and it’s bullshit hard. Our now isn’t sunshine and happiness, we’re not embracing the experience – we’re fucking shitting it and hopefully our bundle of joy (s) doesn’t notice.

THEN is what I am aiming for.

If I can just get this week done, it’ll set me up and I’ll be okay for the rest of the month.

I have a plan now but last week I had no idea how I could even comprehend another commitment when I’m already fucked catering for the many hats I provisionally wear…

So instead our now is then and It’s the only thing that keeps me sane.

If you are returning to work now, you don’t feel ready and your baby couldn’t possibly cope without you. Know this. They can, and even if your now is so so far away from the then that you want, it’s there.

Go get it. Maternity is over, baby is ready and so is mum.

Next chapter PLEASE!

 

C x